


bourbon

by lunartotems



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Mutual Pining, i havent written a fic in years, i’ve been sitting on this idea for a while, pls dont bully im baby, those chapters of mutual pining so help me sothis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 02:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20350744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunartotems/pseuds/lunartotems
Summary: Dimitri mulls on whether should he follow his head or heart.





	bourbon

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t written a fic in years so... excuse the quality. Also inspo for this is Gallant’s “Bourbon” hence the title.

_ Your hands are warm… have they always been? _

That question haunted Dimitri’s head ever since he uttered it. The voices of the dead seemed to have stopped—briefly—after he had found his resolve and direction. He needed this wake up call for the longest time; Rodrigue’s words back in Ailell still stung like a fresh wound. It was even more painful now since Rodrigue had sacrificed himself for him to fulfill his destiny.  _ Do I have the right to be here? Do I have the right to live?  _

They had just won back his birthright, he is now king. The coronation could wait, he instructed. He had no time for fanfare or planning out celebrations; the Empire still stands… all he had to do was rip it from its roots. Dimitri sighed as he sank his head and body in the water. For five years, he felt he was drowning, ghostly hands dragging him down murky waters to his demise. As he mulled in his thoughts, her face appears. Bright, teal hair that the finest jade and eyes, green as emeralds.  _ Professor.  _

_ Byleth… _

Her hand reached out for him and he had to reciprocate. Slowly, he felt that the hands that were dragging him down were breaking and snapping like twigs. He quickly poked his head out of the water, choking, rasping greedily for air. Dimitri covered half of his face with a hand as he leaned back on the edge of the tub. His breaths grew steady as he began to become lost in thought again.

Ever since Byleth held him close after their victory in Grondor (it wasn’t really a victory… more like an impasse), his eyes opened.  _ You must forgive yourself.  _ She said.

How. 

_ Slowly but surely.  _ The woman replied.  _ You… we… can do it a step at a time.  _ Her hands wrapped around one of his own; oh it how it burned and seared his soul. 

Dimitri yearned for her touch since then. When he sees her by the chalkboard in the cardinal’s room drawing out strategies and scenarios, he would stay behind and formulate some poor excuse on why. When they were alone, her still busy in thought asking for his opinion on the plan; he would quietly agree as he shyly began to reach for her hand. He does not want to lose her again; Dimitri felt like a child, yearning for their mother to hold them. First, he brushed her fingers softly enough that she wouldn’t notice. Next, he would try how best to hold her hand, hoping not to startle her.  _ It's not a math problem, Blaiddyd.  _ Dimitri cursed inwardly.  _ It’s just you and hand holding.  _ When he finally mustered his courage to coil his hands around Byleth’s, he was surprised that she held his hand back still focused on the chalkboard and still reciting possibilities and probabilities. From the corner of his eye, he saw that she was smiling and a faint hue of pink stained her cheeks, all he could do was smile back and his mind was at peace.

Sometimes he’s too stubborn. He was smitten and shy to admit that he loved her all this time. He was still too anxious, too afraid that he would break her after he had pushed her away and said all those spiteful things to her. Dimitri relished the warmth of her hand against his and it became a habit for the both of them: from walking around the monastery to helping carry her things back to her office. Sylvain teased him and remarked that he remembered one time that he promised that someday he would have a girl that he loves on his arm.  _ Do you remember that promise, Your Highness? I’m glad you kept your word even though it has been five years in the making. _

Promise. Promise.

That’s right. He almost forgot.

_ Have dinner with me.  _ She declared.  _ Promise me that.  _ It was a simple enough promise and task but why was he so afraid?

Sylvain asked him once after he was pulled out of the gobshite that he wallowed for too long.  _ Do you love her?  _ Sylvain asked.  _ Even when you were still swimming in shit, you looked like you pined for her. You still have that lovestruck look in your eyes… eye…  _

_ Am I that obvious?  _ He countered.

_ Clear as day.  _ Sylvain tutted.  _ You have to tell her at some point. We’re at war. Any day could be our last. Goddess, I hope we’d all last so we can see your wedding with Byleth! _

_ I don’t deserve her.  _ He replied.  _ She wouldn’t want to marry me after what I had done and how I treated her. _

_ You have to forgive yourself at one point. She already forgave you hasn’t she?  _ Sylvain mused as he folded his arms. He frowned and furrowed his brows at his friend’s honesty.  _ Look, do you want to live with even more regrets? _

_ No. _

_ Then tell her. _

Dimitri stepped out of the tub and quickly dried himself with a towel. He made sure he looked presentable enough with Dedue’s help. Wearing his armor would make him imposing… especially if they were just going to have dinner. He opted for a dark, blue tunic, a pair of riding pants, and boots; Dimitri wasn’t used to himself not being in armor but he had to tear some of his walls down for her, and only for her. He pulled his hair back slightly with some of his bangs covered his face and then his eyepatch. 

He made his way from the sauna to the dining hall with his thoughts pushing and pulling like waves.  _ I have to tell her. I need to tell her.  _

Dimitri reached the dining hall and he scanned the room trying to look for her. Byleth wasn’t really hard to miss because of her unusual hair color so it was easy to spot her even with one eye. He padded towards her direction, nervousness coursed in his veins. 

Something was off. Different. She wasn’t wearing her usual garb but instead Byleth was wearing a dark, emerald green dress, her hair pulled in a neat and tight bun, and she had some makeup on. “Mercedes’s idea.” Byleth sighed. “I would’ve dressed differently.”

“You look beautiful though.” Ah. Damn. Where did that courage suddenly come from? He noticed her eyes widened and she quickly averted her gaze for a brief moment and smiled. His cheeks suddenly burned and his throat became dry; he would fight all of his days to protect that smile. “You look handsome tonight.” Byleth complemented back.

“Thank you. I’m not sure if you’re kidding or not.” Dimitri chided.

She huffed and folded her arms, “Five long years and you still can’t take a damn single compliment.” Byleth joked.

Dimitri blinked and laughed, “I guess I don’t.”

Tonight’s dinner was a special one because of their victory on reclaiming Faerghus back for the Kingdom: roasted pig with root vegetables and dessert was a black forest cake. They took their meals back to their table and they sat across from one another. The chatter and buzz of the victory seemed to have motivated the troops; Dimitri would relish this peace for a few days before they march to reclaim the Silver Maiden before heading to the Empire.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Byleth chimed. She bent to the side of her chair and Dimitri looked at her with curiosity. A few seconds later, she was holding a bottle with an amber colored liquid inside. “My father, goddess rest his soul, has a number of these in his office. I thought I’d like to share.” 

She reached for two of wooden cups on the table, opened the bottle, and poured out some of its contents into the cups. Dimitri swallowed as she offered her one, “Do you drink?” She asked. 

“No. I don’t have a sense of taste but I welcome the alcohol burn.” Dimtiri said as he took the cup from her hand.

“That’s all you need.” 

He took one, long sip and winced as he smelled the smokiness. There was a cough stuck on the back of his throat and his face contorted. Dimitri tried his best not to make a fool out of himself but a cough failed him. “That’s strong.”

“Is it?” Byleth hummed. “I think it’s pretty mild.”

Dimitri stifled a laugh, he did not want to admit he wasn’t much of a drinker. He had learned from the soldiers who were loyal to the empire and his cause back when how to drink but he still drank alcohol sparsely. He could tolerate ale, wine, and mead, liquor… not so much.

Dinner was rather  _ eventful  _ and pleasant. The food was great and the company he had shared it with was better. He joked that it was his time to ask her questions just like back then when he was a student talking about equipment upkeep while drinking chamomile tea. Byleth did not mind answering his questions and she answered them no matter how silly the question was. He never brought up things when he was in his darkest moments. There was still this one question that lingered in his mind. Sylvain’s voice rang in his ear…

_ Tell her. _

“Say, Prof—Byleth.” Dimitri sputtered. “If you love someone, how would you tell them?” Byleth looked at him, her mouth formed a small ‘o’ and she pursed her lips in a straight line. He wanted to tell, to kiss, to let her know how he really felt but… patience.

“Honestly,” She began. “I would just tell them. If I want to be bold, I’ll tell them at the Goddess Tower.”

There was silence between them; the air was getting thicker and thicker. Dimitri felt like he was going to choke but he reached for her hand, rubbing small circles with his calloused thumb. “What about you?” She asked. “How would you tell them?”

Goddess. He hoped that she wouldn’t ask. There was no turning back now.

Dimitri rose from his seat and drank again from the cup. The burn on his throat felt like fire as he walked towards her and leaned close while using the table and the chair to balance himself. “I would…” He mused, leaning closer. The smell of alcohol from her breath filled his lungs, it was intoxicating, it felt great to be finally this close.

“Dimitri?”

“I would…” He repeated again as he leaned closer to her lips.

He kissed her. Ardently. Sweetly. Carefully. 

For a few moments, he clung to the chair and the table for dear life, praying that he wouldn’t break them. Thank the goddess for gravity for keeping him grounded or else he’ll be floating right now.

He broke the kiss and looked at her, Byleth’s eyes were wide and her cheeks flushed crimson.

“...That way.” Dimitri exhaled as he wiped the droplet of alcohol staining her lip.


End file.
